We get a magical and emotional feeling from watching a couple exchange vows and sign a document that validates their induction into the sacred institution called marriage.
However, our magical feeling disappears when we receive the news that the couple of our dreams is going to divorce.
Compared to several decades ago, the rate at which marriages are dissolving in the 21st century is quite alarming.
Today, we see couples breaking up just six months after their wedding.
So naturally, this raises a lot of concerns in our society, especially among the older generation, shocked to see young couples easily break the promise “Till death do us part.”
A recent PREMIUM TIMES article inspired us to conduct a public survey opinion poll on our official Facebook page.
This newspaper created this survey to gather our readers’ opinions and concerns about the high rate of divorce among young couples.
A young couple pose for photographs at the Ikoyi marriage registry in Lagos. [PHOTO: IG @bellanaija]
Modern times, new rules
Several Facebook users attributed the rise in divorce rates to a change in Nigeria’s traditional value system.
The introduction of Western culture in Nigeria was accompanied by various ideologies such as feminism, which, according to some users, prevents a wife from submitting to her husband.
In addition, it creates space for disrespect, an act that some men cannot tolerate.
social media
Divorcing young couples are accused of living a fake life on social media, trying to impress their followers and friends instead of focusing more on strengthening the bond between them.
Additionally, social media posts project the perfect image of what a marriage should be, serving as the wrong foundation for couples to build their relationship on.
i need to impress
Impressing in this context relates more to both parties in a marriage.
One user points out how, during courtship, a man woos a lady by presenting a perfect version of himself. But once they get married, their behavior changes to a different one.
The same applies to the behavior of a lady. Then, by revealing her true identities, she cannot tolerate each other, leading to the dissolution of their marriage.
Get in, run out
Lack of proper preparation is another reason listed by most Nigerians who responded to the survey.
Couples don’t take the time to study each other and identify potential challenges before they get married. This lack of patience prevents them from critically evaluating their compatibility, which affects the lifespan of their relationship.
Religion
Many users stated that divorcing couples have no fear of God and lack proper religious lessons on topics such as marriage.
For example, one user cites the biblical instruction of submission to disobeyed husbands by women who claim equal status with their husbands.
lack of purpose
Before venturing into marriage, Nigerians state that most couples do not have a clear purpose in mind. This causes them to use worldly things and physical attractiveness as criteria to determine if they are compatible.
absence of love
A recurring example used to reinforce this point was that of couples marrying each other for financial gain.
In the absence of love, there is a limit to how long money can support the pillars of marriage. While money can make a couple happy, it sometimes covers up lying and cheating in a marriage.
Low level of understanding
Users argue that young couples getting married do not have a deep understanding of the sacred institution they are committing to. Instead, many see it as an achievement or a prerequisite for determining an individual’s success.
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Immaturity also plays a role in low understanding because it limits the experience couples have in defining marriage.
Infidelity
Cheating in couples is another reason identified by many Nigerians. Before getting married, some couples have premarital sex with multiple partners, an act they find difficult to stop. It often leads to extramarital affairs.
In a situation where their partners realize this, a lack of trust is created, causing a ripple effect in the marriage.
Focus more on the wedding than on the marriage
Nigerians advised couples to focus on the aftermath of the wedding rather than the clothes worn at the wedding, the caterer to be hired, or the wedding venue.
Focusing only on the wedding makes it impossible to predict plans for the real deal, marriage.
Poverty
This reason appeared throughout the survey. Economic hardship is another causal factor affecting the rise in divorce rates. It is often unpopularly said: “No money, more problems.”
Do you know other reasons? Let us know in the comments section below.
Also, a big thank you to the amazing people who took our surveys. And, if you want to visit the Facebook post to share your thoughts, you are one click outside.